Saturday, May 30, 2009

May 30th


May 30th is a fantastic day.

It is the feast day of Saint Joan of Arc, a saint largely misunderstood in an age when fashionable causes are more important than substance. Saint Joan of Arc was a peasant girl in Domremy, France (though it was not a part of France then). She was visited by Saints Michael, Catherine of Alexandria and Margaret of Antioch. She was told to lead the French charge against the English, which she did. The gratitude of the French, however, waned and she was sold to English, tried on some spurious charge and burned at the stake. She is patron saint of France and the Women's Army Corps, her image being quite empowering.

It is also the feast day of Saints Isaac of Constantinople, Ferdinand of Castile and Luke Kirby, one of the English martyrs.

The Rideau Canal in Ottawa was opened on this date in 1832.

It's Mother's Day in Nicaragua.

And May 30th was the birthdate of the man with a thousand voices- Mel Blanc.

That's all, folks.









Friday, May 22, 2009

Freaky Friday

Let's lighten the mood.


Don't let a bit of traffic put a damper on your week-end.


Are you need of digital storage devices but not just digital storage device will do? Well, look no further (I like the eraser one).


Some people don't believe in prayer. If they were to fly in this plane, they should.


In this day and age, we should be careful about how we spend our money. This site gives you some very generous tips on what not to buy. I mean- do you really need a diamond pacifier for your infant? I might understand the 1.54 million dollar magnetic bed because that's a conversation piece. I mean- dinner parties fly by when you bring it up. You might say: "Yes, a trip to Fiji is just divine but have you seen my 1.54 million dollar floating magnetic bed? No? Well, let me show you what you're missing!" After that, your guests might forget that the rack of lamb was slightly overdone. And let's not forget the Captain's chair.
I leave you now with this: if we could all live together the way this fawn and kitten live together.

Sensible Footwear?

No, I don't mean the $540 variety. I mean flip-flops.


Guantanamo Bay has been a great source of consternation, particularly for Democrats who wish to see the previous president's solution to uniform-less terrorists closed down. Yet, despite the Chosen One's promises of closing Guantanamo Bay down, he can't seem to do it. The US Senate voted ninety to six against closing the prison because the current president hasn't delineated plans for the prisoners. Surely, he put thought into this, or at least had someone who knew what they were talking about deal with this. President Obama cannot close the infamous prison down because other than lofty sentiments of justice, the cold, hard reality of battling international terrorism and the unwillingness of others to deal with such an issue, keeping the prisoners where they are is a good idea. The prisoners, caught while fighting American troops, must be put somewhere, tried and released or punished. Where the prisoners go? Who will try them? Who will accept financial responsibility for this? How will any of this affect international opinion of America? Talking about it is one matter. Doing something is quite different.


If there is a Canadian alive who thinks Obama cares for Canada, wake. The hell. Up. The government-owned GM is affecting Canadian livelihoods, as well.

Monday, May 18, 2009

For Your Own Good

Not holding onto a hand-rail in Montreal could get you into a spot of bother.

MONTREAL
— Anyone who has ridden an escalator and bothered to pay attention has seen –
and likely ignored – little signs suggesting riders hold the grimy handrail.
In Montreal's subway system, the friendly advice seems to have
taken on the force of law, backed by a $100 fine.
Bela Kosoian, a 38-year-old mother of two, says when she didn't hold the handrail Wednesday she was cuffed, dragged into a small holding cell and fined.


Why are adults being treated this way? One would assume adults are capable of making decisions on their own, even if the decisions are worthy of the Darwin Awards. Must someone be holding a grown man or woman's hand at all times? Will there be warnings and consequences for everything? Perhaps a warning on a box of grenades: AIM AWAY FROM FACE.

Children can walk around unattended. No one can enforce a helmet law on a Sikh male. One can only imagine telling a pregnant woman not to smoke, drink or inhale glue fumes. But if you don't hold onto a hand-rail, you're in for it!

Isn't it time to tell the nanny state to cut the cord?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Beginning of the Week

It appears, as of this writing, the Tamil Tigers (ever fond of the human shield technique) have been defeated, thus ending a conflict a quarter century long. Whether this will translate into lasting peace or future road blockages, I cannot say. One thing is certain, however- American Liberal leaders will troll for votes. They'll troll all night if they have to.

It's been a crazy past week: a caregiver advocate questioned Ruby Dhalla's version of "Nanny-gate". Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi denied what she knew about water boarding. An unimportant film sandwiched itself between a fantastic film and yet another summer blockbuster.

And this happened:




Twelve thousand and three hundred average citizens walked to Parliament Hill to voice their opinion but because they were not a rent-a-crowd or Barack Obama and his penchant for self-congratulation while being morally smarmy, it didn't merit attention. Tired and repetitive slogans and mediocre attempts to deflect attention from obviously anti-life policies trump solid bodies any day, I suppose.

Friday, May 08, 2009

To Boldly Go...


I had the great luck of getting a ticket to the newest incarnation in the Star Trek franchise. It was AWESOME! Needless to say, this horse won before even getting out of the gate and a sequel is probably in the works. But sequel or not, every movie needs a tagline to get the viewers' interest. Here are a few rejected taglines for the newest Star Trek feature.
"Star Trek- the guy who plays Sylar from Heroes is in it."
"Star Trek- Spock's in this one."
"Star Trek- yeah, I thought cars were gone in the twenty-third century, too, but hey! whatever works."
"Star Trek- EXPLOSIONS and lots of them!"
"Star Trek- JJ Abrams has got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies and is making a lot of money."
For some reason, these taglines weren't catchy enough.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Cinco de Mayo


Today is Cinco de Mayo, a holiday commemorating General Ignacio Zaragoza's defeat of French forces at Puebla, Mexico (the actual date of Mexican independance is September 16th).


And what better way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo than with Khan Noonien Singh in "Space Seed" (God rest his Kirk-angering soul).


And don't forget to Cook with Monkey!

Monday, May 04, 2009

Mirror, Mirror

No, I don't mean the old Star Trek episode where everyone in the alternate universe was evil (yes, this is Star Trek week). I meant a more pernicious kind of narcissism.

Bill Maher, the perennially unfunny comedian whose shtick includes mocking George Bush and religion in equally sludge-like measures, was taken aback when no one found his jokes about Obama funny. I don't think anyone finds Maher funny. Having hit a wall, Maher backed away. He is not the only one. So many comedians find it impossible to mock the current leader of the free world or anyone associated with him. What was free game before seems sacrosanct now. I don't see why. Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary can be objects of obscene fun on South Park. Jon Stewart would opt to make the Holocaust sound "funny". There are numerous references to George W. Bush's alleged stupidity and his now-married daughter's escapades. There are fields of "humour" at Sarah Palin's expense. Will we grow tired of drawing parallels between Trudeau and Ignatieff? Yet, no jokes about Obama's sputtering (Teleprompter-in-Chief, anyone), his inexperience, his love affair with himself, his wife's vulgar materialism and self-obsession. These jokes could run for a hundred years with the right wit and excellent writing. So why not?

Narcissism. It's Obama and Oprah's best friend. The extreme love of self, the inability to take criticism, the pride despite the lack of accomplishments and the feeling that one is somehow a god. Has anyone pointed out how little Obama has done but how he loves getting credit for the mammoth tasks he thinks he's resolved? Did anyone notice how Oprah is on the cover of her magazine (surely there's a pretty vase out there)? Is anyone sick over Michelle Obama's fashion sense and lack of generosity? Does anyone feel the slightest bit of shame over drooling like schoolgirls over self-absorbed celebrities whose accomplishments include rolling out of bed and draping themselves in expensive slave-labour made clothes?

The ability to laugh at one's self or accept criticism is a sign that one realises how flawed and finite one truly is. Did anyone hear Bush complain about being called a "monkey" (even though I'm sure that hurt)? The current president has been in office for over one hundred days. Where are the joke books or skits about his unwillingness to stand up to Noriega? Even Bill Clinton got his chance to be in the gutter (he put himself there, really).

Are we living in a world without humour, or are we afraid to laugh?

Friday, May 01, 2009

Double Take

Remember when Canadians lauded Obama's victory when it would spell out protectionism? Surprise, surprise. Obama has never been- and never will be- a friend to Canada. That can't be said enough.

Canadians aren't the only ones who will be hit in the wallet. American taxpayers might enjoy a brief windfall this tax season only to pay it all back next tax season. The tactic of giving the electorate a taste of financial honey is conniving, yet effective. If a blue-collar worker could put his earnings in a tax shelter the way some celebrities can, there wouldn't be much a problem.

But wait! There's more! The new Jackie Kennedy spent $540 on running shoes! Apparently, she needs them. Being "utilitarian" is all the rage. If only some people could get that message (self-made people really fry me!).

I end this snark with a conscientious cat.