Thursday, February 02, 2012

An Open Letter from Canada to China



Hi, China.



It's us- Canada, your favourite trading partner and, soon, your number one source of oil.



We were bumming around the Interwebs looking for CBC porn when we stumbled on this:



China may use the upcoming visit by Prime Minister Stephen Harper to try convincing him that it deserves a more prominent role in the Arctic.

Next year Canada begins a two-year term as chair of the Arctic Council, which comprises the eight nations that ring the North Pole.

Even though it has no Arctic territories, China wants a place at that table.

Zhang Junsai, the Chinese ambassador to Canada, told a Montreal audience on Wednesday that his country should be allowed to be there.

"Of course, China wishes to be an observer," he said.

The Arctic region may contain as much as one-quarter of the Earth's untapped oil and gas, reserves that will become more accessible as temperatures rise and polar ice caps melt.

Meanwhile, China covets additional energy and resources to power its fast-growing economy and is already investing heavily in Canada's oilsands. That theme of energy exports is expected to play a central role in Harper's upcoming trip.

In his speech Wednesday to the Montreal Council on Foreign Relations, Junsai focused on bilateral relations between Canada and China, and on Harper's visit. Junsai said he believed the trip would have a very positive impact on relations.

When asked afterwards by an audience member about Chinese views on the Arctic, the ambassador noted that a number of countries were involved in the region.

"We hope that (they) solve their differences by peaceful means," Junsai added. "My understanding, not of my government, is we should have a joint scientific research in this area because a lot of things are unknown...

"We hope that the countries related should support China's request.''



Imagine our surprise when we read it.


No, really. Try to imagine our surprise.



Let's try to sort this out.


Here is a map of the world.


Who's that handsome country closest to the North Pole?



Here is a map of Canada.




And here is a map of you guys.









If there is anything we've noticed it's that you are nowhere near the Arctic.


So imagine our surprise when we read that you - in your words- "...should be allowed to be there..."


No, seriously. Try to imagine.


We can appreciate that you want oil and gas, even going so far as Sudan to get it, but if you think that simply because you want something that means you deserve it, think again.


No, really. Think again.


You have what some people call an undeserved sense of entitlement. Whether it's a product of communism, "the Little Emperor Syndrome", greed or a combination of all three, it just rubs some the wrong way. You might be able to play that game with your lap dog, North Korea, and try to appropriate South Korea's territory, history and achievements bit by bit, but we take our resources and our Arctic claims very seriously. Hell, even Denmark has a better claim than you and they are certainly not douches about it.



Come for the untapped gas reserves. Stay for the cheese.



All we're saying is be realistic.


And don't be utter dinks.


Yours',


Canada


No pandas were killed in the making of this flag. Or female infants.





4 comments:

Peter said...

China is already an "ad-hoc observer" on the Arctic Council. The "Permanent Observers" are France, Germany, Netherlands, Poland, Spain and the UK. What do we notice about all these? Well, (i) that they're not anywhere near the Arctic either, just like China, and (ii) that they're all European. Why should an Asian state not be a Permanent Observer?
Is it the view of the member states that only they should be allowed to determine the fate of the Arctic and benefit from any developments there which may happen?
BTW: (i) "ad-hoc observers" are entitled to request presence at meeting of the Council, as Zhang has done. "Such requests are mostly granted as a matter of routine" (wikipedia). (ii), Rakobowchuk, the writer of the article, says China "covets additional energy...". Now, "covets" is an emotive word; but even so, who doesn't want (or "covet") more energy? Canada?

Quibble: Ambassador Zhang Junsai's surname is "Zhang", not "Junsai", which is his given name. One has to wonder at Rakobowchuk's knowledge of the topic, or at least about China, if he doesn't know that simple fact.

Peter Forsythe
Hong Kong
(Ex Australian Embassy Peking, and Consulate Shanghai)

David said...

That's right! We're already almost at war with the Godless Danes over the North Pole: We don't need an even more Godless country to come along and make outlandish claims.

Osumashi Kinyobe said...

Thank you for your comment, Peter.

Allow me to respond in perhaps a less than timely manner.

I did not write the article but am very congnisant of Asian nomenclature. Perhaps the article writer is not.

I don't think any country not in the vicinity of the Arctic should have a controlling interest in it. China will take oil from anywhere, even Sudan where they are implicated in civil rest there. It's not surprising that a Third World communist dictatorship should want its fingers in so many pies, including the untapped gas/oil reserves to which Canada, Russia or Denmark could lay claim. "Covets" is a perfectly good word to use when speaking of China's reach, as many of its neighbours may attest.

That China feels it deserves to have a place at the table speaks volumes to its arrogance and is yet another thorn in one's side.

Osumashi Kinyobe said...

David, with respect to China, Denmark has more leverage in a place in the Arctic. How it should be divided, well...