An Open Letter from Japan to Stupid Racist Letter-Writers

Seventeenth century Japan was more open about flowing sleeves.

 Hello.



You might not know us but we are gentlemen from Japan. Also gentlewomen, children and any number of cute, marketable cats. We're not sure how good your geography is so we will direct you. If you go waaaaaay off the coast of Vancouver (north of Washington state and south of Alaska) we're a slip of a country that's been around since heaven and Earth were formless masses or since the continental shift (whichever version you prefer- we don't care). We've been running from Godzilla since the Fifties and we...bombed you guys a while back.


There's been some friction.


Anyway, we were futzing about the Interwebs when we came across this:

You are such a mean bitter old bitch, it’s a shame the Japs didn’t murder your parents before they came to the U.S.  ....

Oh my God!

Did you just call us Japs?! What century are you living in?! You can't say that! We mean....you CAN say but should you?


We say not.


Now we've never met this Michelle Malkin person before but we're sure she's nice and certainly doesn't deserve to be called you-know-what. You should probably thank her for taking the high road about this name-calling thing. Sure, she published your filthy screeds but then again you did send them to her. With your names.


Not smart.


And it's "China" and "Japan", by the way, not "Chine" or "Japin". We guess your teachers didn't cover that at their "changing parties".


Anyway, this racism thing is just bad form. We mean- no one's perfect and we weren't always the gentlemen but dude! "Japs"?! We don't want to bring up that TDSB "white privilege" dreck but this isn't looking good for you.


And don't let the Koreans find out about these letters. Their word for "revenge" is "boksu" which not only means revenge but "plural", as well. Figure it out.


It pays to be civil, is our point.


Yours' without rioting OR bad words,


Japan