Friday, March 27, 2009

Earth Hour

We have to save the Earth and we have to save it now.
We are asked for Earth Hour to turn off all of our lights and other electrical appliances in an effort to reduce our carbon footprint.
So, tomorrow night, turn off your lights, your computer and any other appliances you have on. Look out your window and count how many people don't turn off their lights. Sure, they might claim that this Earth Hour is "a compete scam" and "not at all helpful to the environment" but they'll get the message when you give them the scowling of a lifetime. Wait out the darkness with a scented soy candle (the lemon one is especially nice). Then, when the egg-timer goes off, turn everything back on. Get on your computer and blog to your online friends how you helped the planet. Leave your computer on for a while in order to communicate with those whose own Earth Hour is delayed due to different time zones. Enjoy a pot of coffee (non-fair trade) or several. Make sure the porch light is on, as well, for safety reasons. Are you watching TV? You should. Maybe- just maybe- there might be something good on while you are surfing online for free MP3s. The waiting, as you know, is the most difficult part. Leave the lights on in your bedroom in case you have to run in and grab off the shelf the latest copy of whatever millionaire Al Gore has out these days. Stay up for a while and make sure you've exhausted all avenues of Earth Hour discussion, ranging from using one sheet of toilet paper to the fresh produce farm you probably won't visit because you hate bees. Make sure to schedule another online chat with your Internet buddies for tomorrow night.
Do it. Do it for the Earth.


Anonymous said...

It's good to satirize the purely token effort of mindless people who participate in this sham. If they were so concerned with the world, they would make real sacrifices. Furthermore, during Earth Hour many people use candles or flashlights. Candles and batteries both produce carbon emissions. It wouldn't save that much energy anyway since more energy is needed to start after stopping. The event proves that people are still lacking in research. Nice work.

Osumashi Kinyobe said...

But enviro-nuts are convinced that Earth Hour works.
Not so much the one piece of toilet paper, though.