Monday, May 28, 2012

Meat Is (Delicious) Murder



Oh yes it is....


Of all the annoying identity movements under the giant rancid rainbow, what is it that causes militant vegetarians to be the most obnoxious? What is it about the Vegetarian Personality that makes me wish someone would cannibalize them? What is it about being lectured by vegans that makes me want to drive straight to Wendy’s and order a Classic Triple?

Is there a chemical in bean sprouts that causes self-righteousness, or perhaps an enzyme in beef that minimizes sanctimony? If you are what you eat, radical vegetarians must be eating something very unpleasant. They bare their tempeh-nibbling fangs to reveal the rabid hostility that always seems to be a hallmark of those who feel compelled to make a grand public display of their “compassion.” But hilariously, a recent study suggests that “exposure to organic foods” leads people to be less altruistic.

The mouthier vegetarians I’ve known seem to respect all life forms except for those that happen to be in the room with them at any given time. Because they are opposed to animal suffering, they apparently feel entitled to make every human being around them suffer....

Here’s a new concept for you: It’s called the “food chain.” Or the “web of life.” You could learn a lot from it.

I can think of one case in which animals are superior to humans: Animals don’t project their daffy delusions onto us.


Indeed.


It's one thing to be a fussy eater or cut back on red meat consumption for health reasons or even be ruled by a religious edict forbidding meat.


It's the sanctimony one cannot swallow.



(See what I did there?  Aawww, forget it!)



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