Sunday, December 22, 2013

An Open Letter to Indonesian Muslims

Dear Indonesian Islamists,

I would like to wish you the merriest of Christmases.

What's that you say? Christmas is not a part of native Indonesian culture? Well, neither is Islam but let's not peck over the finer points. Let us instead share warm wishes on the birth of the Jewish Savior.

That's right. The same Savior who rose from the House of David (down Israel way), whom many of your number now call "a dog", whom even Mohammad believed was a prophet, has His birthday this Wednesday.

I hope you've finished all of your Christmas shopping.

I hope Christmas Day (Jesus' birthday) is filled with all manner of things that make the less volatile of us happy: wine, song, friendship, pork (perhaps in the form of bacon?), praise of Him who actually died for us but then rose from the dead, despite what some of your folk think.

I hope you forgo your annual displays of pig-ignorant intolerance and violence against your own countrymen who would much rather worship the one true Jewish Christ than gather around houses of worship with signs that read "Kill the Christians" or bags of filth or heavy machinery with which to tear down churches. I don't remember other people doing that to you but I do remember Christians the world over helping your lot out after a destructive tsunami, when the others in the ummah made a concerted effort not to give a rat's @$$.

Don't you think you could pay it forward?


Are you sure? This is the kind of thing people remember the next time there is a huge natural disaster which your country is really prone to.

Just saying.

Anyway, you have yourselves a Merry Christmas. Have a beer. Relax. Take it easy.

No one likes a thuggish frowny-face on Christmas.


the Universe


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