The Year That Was

Is it possible to sum up an entire year in a few words?

Maybe.

In January, Obama took the country he was elected to lead over the fiscal cliff. He would later screw the American electorate with his unworkable Obamacare (and this coming year, they’ll still be paying for it! Suckers! You were warned!) and raise the debt ceiling. His performing monkey Hillary Clinton declared her indifference at hearings on Benghazi. I’m sure that will go over well in 2016. Attawapiskat Chief Theresa Spense continued her diet and would later on in the year expect the government to help after a fire left her badly-governed reservation partially destroyed. Cue financial transparency for reservations. The French cried: “NON!” to same-sex marriage but their grand-socialiste president Francois Hollande would have none of it. Still, France pulled its weight in Mali, for whatever good that would do.

In February, it was becoming disturbingly apparent how bad Obamacare was going to be with revelations that children and those with pre-existing conditions would not be covered. It would only get better and by better I mean devastating and ruinous. Malala Yousufzai remained alive despites Islamists’ efforts for her not to be so. She would not get the Nobel Peace Prize. Not Obama enough. He was probably too busy thinking of reasons why he was not where he was supposed to when his ambassador was being killed in Benghazi. Pope Benedict XVI decided to step down. What came after was a papal election that resulted in a pope who is never going to change Catholic doctrine no matter what. Park Guen-Hye becomes the first woman president of South Korea (polite applause).  She needs the spine of a concrete elephant to deal with the perpetually aggressive North Korea in which purges and weapons testing are the still the norm. Screw you, UN.

The merry month of SMarch saw the usual year-round persecution of Christians and the passing of former Alberta premier Ralph Klein. No matter how often it was tried, Harper refused to entertain even moderate discussion about abortion, thereby stifling Conservative MPs motions on the matter. Coward. Russian President Vladimir Putin got off to a rolling early year start by controlling Twitter, bailing Obama out in Syria, making a Russian claim for the North Pole and the Sochi Olympics. The life of an autocrat is never dull. Kenneth Bae, an American pastor, was arrested in North Korea and remains (as of this writing) in prison. Pray for him. Pope Francis celebrated his first Easter Mass. Awesome.

In April, bombs went off at the Boston Marathon yet, somehow, it really isn’t anyone’s fault because we don’t want to rile certain people who rhyme with Mislamists or Mechens, especially not Justin Trudeau. Get baked, man. At roughly the same time, an explosion in West, Texas revealed the shocking quality of American geography lessons.  Kermit Gosnell went on trial for murder and infanticide. He would eventually be found guilty. Rot in hell.

In May, the circus surrounding the surviving accused Boston bomber, Dzhokar Tsarnaev, continued as his mother plead for him to the popular press. Convicted murderer Omar Khadr was transferred to an Edmonton prison and still attempts to be released. Swedish authorities fined what they claimed were illegally parked cars burned out by thugs in a display of douchebaggery that is just gob-stopping. Lee Rigby was brutally murdered on a London street. His killers were eventually convicted mostly due to their filming their crime and insisting Islam had everything to do with it.  BC Liberals won a critical election. No surprise there, really.  March for Life- it happened. Testimony revealed intimidation against telling the truth about what happened in Benghazi.

The merry month of June saw the following: Section 13 was eliminated, self-important people illegally blocked an Enbridge pumping station, starting a trend that would work its way east, former Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty dismissed important questions about costly gas plant cancellations as partisanship with an air repeated by his successor, Kathleen Wynne, whose cavalier manner toward Ontario’s slow economic death and her friendship with an accused child pornographer have yet to result in her being fired into the sun, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was ousted by Kevin Rudd who in turn would lose to Tony Abbot, a flood ran through much of southern Alberta, Justin Trudeau wobbled on repaying charities he took money from, NSA leaker Edward Snowden fled to Hong Kong and then Russia, and testimonial evidence against the IRS mounted up.

In July, Kathleen Wynne continued being corrupt, a train derailment killed eighty people in Spain, George Zimmerman was found not guilty for killing some punk, Detroit had to declare bankruptcy, China rattled its sabre, hoping to control all of Asia proper. Japan does not like. Prince William and his wife, Kate, had a little boy named George. Panama caught Cuba smuggling arms for North Korea. A train explosion destroyed much of Lac Megantic, Quebec. Senate scandal, blahblahblah. August was a little more sedate with the usual violence against Christians in Egypt and Syria (its chemical weapons were handily taken care of by Putin), Nidal Hasan was sentenced to death for killing fourteen people, testimony concerning human rights abuses in North Korea went relatively unheard (screw you, UN), Parti Quebecois’ attempt to stamp out the real divisive nature of political multiculturalism met with hostility, Ted Cruz is awesome and the CRTC refused to give Sun News mandatory carriage but will review its practices.

In September, Kenneth Bae still remained in a North Korean prison while Canadian douchebags were freed by Egypt and Russia respectively. Not fair. Obama made good on his meeting Iran without pre-conditions. His lifting sanctions while allowing Iran to continue enriching uranium is an effective a measure for preventing war as kicking a hornet’s nest. David Suzuki embarrassed himself on Australian television. A mall in Kenya saw usual Islamist violence. A mentally ill man opened fire in an unusually not-protected naval shipyard and very little else was heard about it. Justin Trudeau is campaigning on one issue which he cannot get right. Wow.

October is both Thanksgiving and Halloween month. However, if one was a student at McKay Public School, one would not be thankful that Halloween was cancelled because of the Puritans who are gainfully employed as educators.  Violence in New Brunswick by anti-fracking thugs. Oh, and Rob Ford smoked some crack, whatever. Marcia Wallace, who played Mrs. Krebapple on “The Simpsons”, passed away.

In November, by now, pretty much everyone thinks Obamacare is expensive and soul-crushing bunk. Iran is free to continue enriching uranium.

At last, December, the Christmas month. No matter how hard they try, militant atheists can’t remove the spirit of Christmas from the hearts of people who love cheer and goodness, especially people who live under the constant threat of death because of their beliefs. However, this month saw the passings of Peter O’Toole and Joan Fontaine. Not every Christmas was a happy one (damn you, global warming…).

As this old year passes, let us hope that, at the very least, the new year is better than the one before it.