Friday, December 23, 2011

An Open Letter from South Korea to North Korea

Dear North Korea (soon to be just the northern half of our country as it was before we were separated by the Americans and the Soviets),

We're sorry our response to the death of that fat piece of dung your Dear Leader was found to be wanting. It's just that when you invade us, go to war with us with China and Russia's help, spy on us, kidnap both our and Japanese citizens (I think they'll be writing to you about this soon), kill 115 passengers on one of our airplanes, sink the Cheonan, killing  forty-six sailors, and then deny it, shell one of our cities, killing a total of four people and leaving many homeless, AND threaten to turn our country into "a sea of fire"....  Well, you can understand why we truly could not care about that guy you just stuffed in a glass case and made people wail in front of. Seriously. It's going to be Christmas in a couple of days.....

Oh wait! You guys don't celebrate Christmas! You don't have the freedom to worship... except whichever Kim is not yet dead. OH! Sucks to be you! Well, we have the right of free worship. It's pretty cool, actually.

Anyway, we'll leave you to "grieve".

We'll be dreaming of a White-esque Christmas,

South Korea

Mmmm... frosting... tastes so... freedom-y.....


Stogie said...

Very nicely done.

Osumashi Kinyobe said...


Happy Christmas AND New Year.