Friday, March 15, 2013

An Open Letter from Canada to Nancy Pelosi


Dear Honourable Nancy Pelosi, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives,

We have observed you from afar. We know you have the ear of the president. We are also aware that you have concerns about our oil and the much-debated pipeline from our country into yours and have been vocal about it.

We have concluded that you are a batshi-- broad and here's why:

We have the oil and we'll give it to anyone. Anyone. We would much rather give it to the US because, well, we are neighbours, you will pay a good price for it and it will provide jobs, jobs your country needs badly. The Keystone Pipeline is a more expedient way to get much-wanted conflict-free oil from a neighbouring country not led by madmen or tinpot dictators. This should really be a no-brainer. Like, seriously, you should be getting this.

And yet you persist in this fantasy that our oil is unpopular domestically and abroad. Oh, for the love of pie! Could you be any more wrong?

Who spoon-fed you this fairy tale? Three people from a political non-entity (one of whom is a French citizen, we might add) and who certainly don't represent the entirety of the Canadian population or popular opinion. One of his own party members publicly went against him and supported the Keystone Pipeline, for God's sake! And THIS is your ace in the hole? We realise you have to shell for your "commander-in-chief" but this ridiculous.

If we were you, we would worry more about the Pope embarrassing you in front of the cameras than a geopolitical issue you clearly don't understand.


(we're north of you)

Our flag looks like this.

No comments: